Monday, November 11, 2013

What if we seceded?

North Colorado (in red)


No, I'm not talking about the entire South. This isn't a "the South will rise again" thing. But what if North Carolina voters tried to follow through like Colorado and attempt to secede? What would that look like, exactly?

(Note: I'm being facetious. Even a large number of the voters in Colorado who voted FOR secession admit that it was more to get a point across than "for realz.")


But the situation out west brings up an interesting discussion. One of the underlying themes of the recent vote for "North Colorado" to split from the rest of the state was the fact that there is a vast difference between the ideas, desires and philosophies of the urban Denver area, and the more rural area. From the Daily Beast:

In a place like Colorado, the clustering has been reinforced by the immigration of lots of college-educated hipsters to the state. It has grown from a population around 3 million in 1990 to around 5 million, and the newer arrivals have moved to or near the cities and have plainly made Colorado a more Democratic and liberal state. (Here is everything you’ll ever need to know about Colorado demography.) The values of Denver and Boulder and Arapahoe County—a not quite big-L Liberal area but an upscale, arugula-friendly, and certainly not right-wing zone—dominate in the state capital.

There have been huge fracking controversies. Voters legalized marijuana last year (and this year are voting on the imposition of an excise tax on it to fund school construction). There was that combustive row over guns, in which two (and maybe three, pending results) anti-gun legislators were recalled. Culturally, there’s little doubt about it. Colorado is two states.


This chasm is not new, nor is it specific to Colorado. We have a similar issue here in North Carolina. In fact, as the Daily Beast author goes on to say, "The same could easily happen, and I think will, in virtually any state where one or two big cities hold most of the population."

North Carolina has more than just 1 or 2 major cities -- though Charlotte and Raleigh certainly like to bicker, it seems. But the Tar Heel State is a state chock-full of large and small cities, urban and rural ideas -- often of very different mentalities, from one end of the state to the other. In a state so full of different dialects, it's not surprising that there would be philosophical differences among the people -- especially with so many new people coming to the state every day.

So imagine, if just for a moment, if the various like-minded areas of the state could break apart and form their own entities. What would that look like, you ask? Oh, don't worry about it; I went ahead and figured it out for you.

I bring you, the six new states that once made up "North Carolina."


My sad illustration is probably hard to make out, so let me describe it for you, from left to right. Yes, we have the mountainous state of "Western North Carolina" with its capital of Asheville ... the good old "State of Mecklenburg" (I can't take credit for that one) with Charlotte as its rightful capital .... then there is "Textilina" (Greensboro & Winston-Salem can duke it out for capital rights) ... and then to the east and south of the Triangle is "Tobaccolina" with Greenville as the capital.

As for the Triangle ... why not call it what it is -- or at least what we like to think it is. I present to you "Academia." Raleigh can and should still be the capital.

A couple other remarks about this very well thought-out plan for secession: the outer coastal edges could very well be called the state of "ITB East," while that pocket of land along the coast just south of the Tobaccolina/ITB East border should rightfully be called, "South Ohio" -- with Myrtle Beach as its capital, of course.


My apologies to North_carolina_topographic.jpg for butchering their map. I assure you it's all in fun.

2 comments:

Kevin R said...

The people in Heywood county would immediately attempt to secede from Asheville.

M. Lail said...

Yeah, I don't doubt that.